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Stop Fucking Up Cannabis Events You Geniuses

Stop Fucking Up Cannabis Events You Geniuses

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Every success story is a tale of constant adaption, revision and change.

Richard Branson

ABOVE PHOTO OF ELECTRIC FOREST IS AN EXAMPLE OF FUN

I’m sorry, I’ve been to so many shitty cannabis events since COVID stopped mattering. It’s not the vendors or promoters’ fault either, and please take that to heart. I have nothing but respect for those frontline people in the industry. Just like the consumers, the promoters, and workers are stuck.

Have you ever been to a festive event? Well, then it’s considered a festival, right? Electric Forest and cannabis cups 10 years ago were festive, but now our worst fears have become realizations in the cannabis events era…licensed cannabis events are not so festive, no matter who the artist is. I think they’re a waste of money in a strapped industry, so why don’t we fix them? Let’s stop hi-fiving and ass-slapping our fellow industry types. It’s fake, and it’s a lie what you’re selling to cannabis consumers, and they deserve better, don’t they?

WHY CAN’T CANNABIS CUPS BE LIKE ABOVE PHOTO AGAIN I ASK

Here’s my open letter to whoever needs to hear it. Yes, you with the money bags losing your ass on these events currently. Your friend just forwarded this letter hoping you catch on… Will you?

Buying 1/8s of cannabis stored in the heat of the day, sometimes in the sun at these events, is dumb. So, stop it! Nobody is going to walk around and enjoy that experience, usually somewhere dusty, sunny, and hot.

WHY IS THIS THE TYPICAL LOCATION OF ALL CANNABIS EVENTS?

Why do dilapidated dirt race tracks have the market cornered on cannabis events? Don’t we know these racers only have so many weekends each summer to snort dirt and breathe exhaust while they sweat? I don’t want to do any one of those things when I enjoy cannabis, and nobody else does either.

If you really want to have a festive event, make it a flat rate consumption pass for the day. Break it down into levels. Include beverages, food, and even in January outside with bonfires. Create a humidor environment for the dispensing of flower, edibles, and oils in the summer.

Don’t fumble your fingers and blame game metrics or that bullshit. This is capitalism, and it was bought and paid for hundreds of years ago, so get to it.

You still get paid, and the consumers won’t feel like such cucks afterward when they get home.

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